Treatment Resistant, but Resilient

For as long as I can remember, I have been a Daddy's Girl. My mom encouraged it. She never knew her dad, and she wanted her kids to be close to their dad. But it didn't take much for me to be Daddy's girl. I have always thought of him as my hero, my rock, my friend, and sometimes even my therapist. I wanted to be close to him all the time. I wanted his advice for every big event.  When my mom died, I figured we would just become even closer because he would need me as much as I had always needed him. But he immediately started looking for a new wife. He pushed away everything I did. Every effort to be with him, spend time together, help him grieve, receive comfort from him in my own grief, was pushed away. He just wanted to move on. Within 6 months of mom's death, he had been engaged, broken up, been scammed for thousands of dollars, sent nudes, promised himself to a woman, finally accepted the advice of ALL his kids to break up with her, and then got engaged again. Not...

 My last post was really long. I thought I would make a shorter summary. Carson started throwing really awful uncontrollable tantrums at about age 5.      The pediatrician(s) told me he would outgrow it and not to worry because he wasn't hurting anyone or anything.     When he got bigger and started to be destructive, I was told not to worry because he wasn't hurting himself.     When he started hurting himself, I was told not to worry because it wasn't "that serious"     When he continued to destroy things, scare siblings, and get violent with me, talk about suicide, and had serious impulsive behaviors, I was told that it was a phase.      Finally, a doctor told me that he had ADHD and prescribed medication. This didn't make a difference.     When Carson got big enough to fight me off when I would try to restrain him during violent outbursts, it was brushed off.     When I asked for psychological evalu...

 I want to introduce my son, Carson.  If you know me, I'm sure you've heard his name before😀 Carson is funny, outgoing, and silly. He is creative, and artistic. He loves to draw, write letters, play games, make inappropriate jokes, play with his siblings, and play ridiculous amounts of Roblox. Carson is gay and he OWNS it. He is flamboyant and incredibly kind-hearted. There is a side to Carson that not many know. There are many reasons we don't share his struggles. First of all, it's HIS story, not mine. I am just a part of it. Second, people are incredibly judgmental about mood and personality disorders. The first few people I opened up to, seeking advice, I was judged and mocked (unintentionally I'm sure) and I decided that I shouldn't share my struggles with him. But right now, I am incredibly frustrated and need to make some things known. So, here is a little history:     From his toddler years, Carson would throw temper tantrums like you wouldn't belie...