Treatment Resistant, but Resilient

 In April, when Carson tried to hang himself in the basement, he was arrested for domestic violence. While in jail for one night, he peeled pain off the walls. When questioned, he told the officer he was bored and had ADHD so he needed something to do with his hands The officer instead moved him to another cell (WTH?) where Carson continued to peel paint. So now he is charged with damage of 2 jail cells instead of one. Even though he asked for something to do or distract himself with. He shouldn't have been in jail in the first place; he should have been taken to a mental health hospital or treatment facility.  When the domestic violence charge was addressed in court, he was told to stay out of trouble for 12 months and stay in therapy. When the damage of jail property hearing happened, he was told to get fingerprinted and provide picture ID. He doesn't have a picture ID, so we had to get that. Well, we couldn't really do that when he spent so much time in jail. After that,...

 Dad is an over spender. He always has been. I remember my parents arguing about it, and when I cleaned out their home to move in, I saw all his useless purchases piled around the house. Often, several of the same thing. This is why he's filed bankruptcy, and why Brandon and I have put him on a strict budget. He gets to cash one of his 3 checks, for dates and activities and such with Dawnie. He pays me rent. He also gets another $100/week for groceries at Dawnie's house. This is way more than he needs, but she is a bigger spender than he is, especially on groceries and dog food. Since I started locking his card so he can't use it other than necessities (copays, bills, home repair {always for her!} etc.) he has called me at least twice a week to ask if I will unlock it for a purchase he "has to have". I point out that's what the cash is for, and he has either used it up or it's not enough or he doesn't think he should have to use the cash. The hardest p...

 I have missed a lot of recording things about Carson. I won't remember them all. I had to kick him out after he repeatedly brought strangers into my home in the middle of the night, and they would drink and smoke in my house. STRANGERS getting drunk and/or high in my house with his 3 younger siblings nearby.... Yeah, he had to go.  He left on a Thursday, after I told him he had until that Saturday. He left because I told him to mow the lawn and he said he shouldn't have to since he was leaving anyway. He had promised to mow for 3 days before that because Jason hurt his foot and I needed help. But he didn't. We had court the following Tuesday for his juvenile court case. The judge found out he had been kicked out and asked me why. I said he wasn't keeping the rules, and I had to protect my younger kids. The judge wanted Carson to be somewhere more permanent than living on the street or bouncing between friend's couches so he said he could stay at the Volunteers of A...

 It's weird how I can remember some random bits and pieces of things that happened during ECT (or before and after). I remember at work one day, someone asking about why I had been out on disability so much and I told her about ECT. I said it was nice to meet her, and she said "we've worked together a few times now" so I apologized and explained that ECT had caused some problems with my memory. She asked me: "long-term or short-term?" I was extremely confused. My brain could not understand those words. I asked her what she meant? "Are the problems with long-term or short-term memories? What kinds of problems?" I was still confused.... "what is the difference?" (looking back, I'm sure she thought I was a complete idiot) She explained and I said, "I guess both are problematic." I have replayed this conversation many times and thought "I wonder how many other times I sounded like a complete idiot and don't remember. Ho...

 Thursday July 9, Dad was especially confused. He kept asking the same questions every 5 minutes or so. It was ridiculous and I was getting frustrated. He had physical therapy and I had to tell him what time it was at least 10 times. Then he got confused because he thought it was at a different time, and I had to tell him the time he was thinking was for another appointment on Friday with the podiatrist. We went round and round and round for at least an hour.  Friday, he couldn't walk down the hall without touching the wall. He would tip to the left, touch the wall, then tip to the right, touch the wall. All the way down from one end to the other. He was just as confused, he was especially slow and falling asleep more than normal. Jason had to help him off the couch and when Jaron came to take him to the previously mentioned podiatry appointment, he said Dad smelled like pee and seemed really "off". Friday night around 7pm, Dawnie brought Dad home and said "something...

 Yet another fun post about Dad's dementia. I thought my personal story blog would be more about my own journey than my dad's memory but I don't want to start another blog. And my dad is my main focus lately anyway..... Today dad called me in tears when I was at work. He said his phone wouldn't charge and he had to go to Wal-Mart tech support and have it checked. I asked why he was crying, "because it's my only connection with.... with.... her..... with Dawnie" he started to sob. I said he would be OK, we would figure it out. I asked if he had tried another cord or another base and he said he had tried several but nothing worked and he was down to 20% battery.  When I got home, he said his phone was charging fine because he put it on a different cord. But now his tablet wasn't charging. I mentioned how he had told me over the phone that he had already tried that and it didn't work. He was thoroughly confused. He said it wasn't the cord that was...