Treatment Resistant, but Resilient

 It's weird how I can remember some random bits and pieces of things that happened during ECT (or before and after). I remember at work one day, someone asking about why I had been out on disability so much and I told her about ECT. I said it was nice to meet her, and she said "we've worked together a few times now" so I apologized and explained that ECT had caused some problems with my memory. She asked me: "long-term or short-term?" I was extremely confused. My brain could not understand those words. I asked her what she meant? "Are the problems with long-term or short-term memories? What kinds of problems?" I was still confused.... "what is the difference?" (looking back, I'm sure she thought I was a complete idiot) She explained and I said, "I guess both are problematic." I have replayed this conversation many times and thought "I wonder how many other times I sounded like a complete idiot and don't remember. Ho...

 Thursday July 9, Dad was especially confused. He kept asking the same questions every 5 minutes or so. It was ridiculous and I was getting frustrated. He had physical therapy and I had to tell him what time it was at least 10 times. Then he got confused because he thought it was at a different time, and I had to tell him the time he was thinking was for another appointment on Friday with the podiatrist. We went round and round and round for at least an hour.  Friday, he couldn't walk down the hall without touching the wall. He would tip to the left, touch the wall, then tip to the right, touch the wall. All the way down from one end to the other. He was just as confused, he was especially slow and falling asleep more than normal. Jason had to help him off the couch and when Jaron came to take him to the previously mentioned podiatry appointment, he said Dad smelled like pee and seemed really "off". Friday night around 7pm, Dawnie brought Dad home and said "something...

 Yet another fun post about Dad's dementia. I thought my personal story blog would be more about my own journey than my dad's memory but I don't want to start another blog. And my dad is my main focus lately anyway..... Today dad called me in tears when I was at work. He said his phone wouldn't charge and he had to go to Wal-Mart tech support and have it checked. I asked why he was crying, "because it's my only connection with.... with.... her..... with Dawnie" he started to sob. I said he would be OK, we would figure it out. I asked if he had tried another cord or another base and he said he had tried several but nothing worked and he was down to 20% battery.  When I got home, he said his phone was charging fine because he put it on a different cord. But now his tablet wasn't charging. I mentioned how he had told me over the phone that he had already tried that and it didn't work. He was thoroughly confused. He said it wasn't the cord that was...

 My dad has dementia. They said it was early stage, but I'm sure it's further progressed than that. He asks all the time where he lived before he married Dawnie. I tell him "Here" and he rolls his eyes. I tell him I bought this house from him after he married Dawnie and he always doubts me. I had to show him where Mom wrote their names in the wet cement. I explained what it was decorated like when he lived here. He asks at least once a week. He asked how long he was with Dawnie. I said 2 years, he said "I thought it was 10". I said, "Mom only died 3 years ago." and he just nodded. On his birthday my sister, AngeLena told him to get on Facebook and see all the birthday wishes. This was huge for him, I had to help him find the birthday wishes, and every couple of minutes he would say a name and look at me, asking who it was or how he knew them. Even after I answered, he would read off the mutual friends and ask how those people knew each other. This ...

 Friday May 1st was Dad's 76th birthday, and Faith's sweet 16th. After the celebrations, I went outside for some yard work since it had cooled down. After a while, I sat down on the front porch to relax in the silence. Suddenly, a car parked in front of my house, and 2 figures came towards me. It was dark so I had no idea who it was. One of them handed me a card and said "give this to Mark please" then walked off without another word. The figure behind that one peeked out from behind the suburban. It was Dawnie. She asked if my dad was home, and if she could see him. I told her I would ask him. I ran inside, panicked. I didn't want her there. I didn't want to let her see Dad. I didn't know how to respond. Jason was asleep, the kids were in bed, and Dad was in the bathroom. I thought that was a perfect reason to tell her he couldn't talk and she would leave. But she didn't care. She asked to wait. I told her she could come inside, and instead of wai...

Carson only spent one night in jail. He didn't get any mental health treatment; he was locked up and then sent home with charges of domestic violence and property damage.  I got a letter regarding a court date for a charge he received while in residential treatment. Then I got a letter regarding a charge for the DV and property damage. One is juvenile court, one is regular adult court. The juvenile court is combining all the charges, the one from residential treatment, and the 3 charges I made for property damage. I have no idea what to expect with that. We have been to court 4 times now, and nothing has happened. The first 2 were the arraignments. He was told not to say anything while the public defender asked for more time to review the case. Court was rescheduled in both instances. Then we went back, and both defense attorneys said they still didn't have the necessary police records so they had to reschedule.  On top of all this, there is another pending charge because Cars...