Treatment Resistant, but Resilient

 Dad's dementia can be really bad one day, and not bad at all the next. But his conversation has happened 3 times in the last 10 days or so: Dad: "Do you remember my mom?" Me: "No, she died when you were in high school I never knew her." Dad: "Oh. Right. I forgot. I guess I was thinking of your mom." Me: "What? My mom?" Dad: "Yeah, do you remember your mom?" Me: "Of course I do. I was a lot older when she died." Dad: (very sarcastic) "Oh, really? How old then? How old were you?" Me: "I was almost 43. She died a month before my 43rd birthday" Dad: (almost angry) "Really? You were 43?" (complete disbelief) Me: "she died only 3 years ago Dad." Dad: (sad now) "It feels a lot longer than that."  Me: "Yeah, it does. It feels much longer. I miss her" Dad: "I miss her too. But I also thought I had been with Dawnie 10 years so how does that work?" Me: "Dad, ...

 In April, when Carson tried to hang himself in the basement, he was arrested for domestic violence. While in jail for one night, he peeled pain off the walls. When questioned, he told the officer he was bored and had ADHD so he needed something to do with his hands The officer instead moved him to another cell (WTH?) where Carson continued to peel paint. So now he is charged with damage of 2 jail cells instead of one. Even though he asked for something to do or distract himself with. He shouldn't have been in jail in the first place; he should have been taken to a mental health hospital or treatment facility.  When the domestic violence charge was addressed in court, he was told to stay out of trouble for 12 months and stay in therapy. When the damage of jail property hearing happened, he was told to get fingerprinted and provide picture ID. He doesn't have a picture ID, so we had to get that. Well, we couldn't really do that when he spent so much time in jail. After that,...

 Dad is an over spender. He always has been. I remember my parents arguing about it, and when I cleaned out their home to move in, I saw all his useless purchases piled around the house. Often, several of the same thing. This is why he's filed bankruptcy, and why Brandon and I have put him on a strict budget. He gets to cash one of his 3 checks, for dates and activities and such with Dawnie. He pays me rent. He also gets another $100/week for groceries at Dawnie's house. This is way more than he needs, but she is a bigger spender than he is, especially on groceries and dog food. Since I started locking his card so he can't use it other than necessities (copays, bills, home repair {always for her!} etc.) he has called me at least twice a week to ask if I will unlock it for a purchase he "has to have". I point out that's what the cash is for, and he has either used it up or it's not enough or he doesn't think he should have to use the cash. The hardest p...