Dawnie Returns

 Friday May 1st was Dad's 76th birthday, and Faith's sweet 16th. After the celebrations, I went outside for some yard work since it had cooled down. After a while, I sat down on the front porch to relax in the silence. Suddenly, a car parked in front of my house, and 2 figures came towards me. It was dark so I had no idea who it was. One of them handed me a card and said "give this to Mark please" then walked off without another word. The figure behind that one peeked out from behind the suburban. It was Dawnie. She asked if my dad was home, and if she could see him. I told her I would ask him.

I ran inside, panicked. I didn't want her there. I didn't want to let her see Dad. I didn't know how to respond. Jason was asleep, the kids were in bed, and Dad was in the bathroom. I thought that was a perfect reason to tell her he couldn't talk and she would leave. But she didn't care. She asked to wait. I told her she could come inside, and instead of waiting on the couch or in the front room, she followed me down the hall to the bathroom. She said "I used to go in there with him all the time. It's OK" then she proceeded to knock on the bathroom door and say "Mark, it's me, Dawnie. Your wife. Remember me?" over and over. Dad finally opened the door and said "I'm not done yet. Give me a minute" he sounded irritated. GOOD!

When he came out, they talked in the front room, and I tried to stay out of it. Much as I wanted to listen, I stayed in another room. She was asking why he never comes over anymore. (Because you kicked him out, filed for divorce, lied about it, asked him not to contact you, and then blocked him!!) She said he needed to come back and that it was his kids' fault for getting involved. She called out to me and asked me to back her up about how "Brandon made her get him back before dark". I said that wasn't true. Dad said he would go back to her in the morning.

When I reminded Dad that the reason they were not together is because of the bankruptcy, he was surprised and said "oh, yeah. That's why!" She said that was no excuse, and I said, "you kicked him out because you refused to provide your income statements" and she said she didn't need to. Claimed she hadn't kicked him out, and that he didn't need any statement from her to file bankruptcy and he should come back. She grabbed his hands and moved her head until he was looking at her, then proceeded to move her head around every time he tried to look away, pulling him back to her and insisting that what I said wasn't true.

She asked me if they could start spending time together. I said "that's not a good idea since you ARE divorced". She insisted that wasn't true and again grabbed his hands pulling him towards her so he wouldn't look at me. He told her he knew about it, and he had the paperwork. She still denied it. She claimed it was only papers from when they asked about a divorce, but it wasn't filed. "You would have been served paperwork"

I pointed out that he wouldn't be served because she had him sign papers in October agreeing to whatever terms she put in any future divorce. She denied that. I pointed out she had an attorney filing papers and she had gone to the office at least 4 times to sign additional forms. I told her the divorce is final and she again insisted it wasn't. I had to leave. I took Faith's friend home.

Well, despite all that, dad called her constantly and begged her to call him. He was blocked and couldn't get through, but he could leave voicemails. He sent her letters. It was pathetic. 

Finally, we all agreed they could go to lunch at the senior center a couple times a week, if he brought a minimal amount of cash and no debit card. They haven't gone to the senior center once. They have gone to lunch several times, to the store several times, and he is right back to spending money he doesn't have because she insists he needs something. I asked him to leave his debit card, he shows it to me, then takes it anyway and uses it. 

He has been home late every night. He doesn't care because he's with her. He doesn't care about anyone or anything and gives up on any other relationships because he wants a partner. Nothing less. He won't interact with my kids. He doesn't want to do anything with us. He wants his partner no matter what the cost.